A tale of two aunties

Now-a-days I have to travel for an hour to reach office. It is boring as hell and I have to resort to stalking people and celebrities on Instagram. While doing the same I came across a few supposedly motivating quotes some of which are as follows:

Don’t be the girl who needs a man, be the girl a man needs

and

I’m a female

Fe  = Iron, Male = Man

Therefore I am Iron Man

Both of these quotes irked me. Now, call it a coincidence or whatever, during my journey back home I overheard a conversation between two aunties which went on something like this:

Aunty 1 (A1): Do you know Pushpa’s daughter got into some IIM, now she will get a wealthy groom.

Aunty 2 (A2): Oh that is nice. Good for her. Reena’s daughter has taken arts. She doesn’t need to study so hard. She is pretty which will make it easy for her to get a wealthy groom. Pushpa’s daughter doesn’t look so good so she has to work hard to get to the same level.

A1: I totally agree. After all a girl’s life would mean nothing if she is unable to get married. All this study would go to waste.

A2: Do you know Reena’s daughter-in-law cooks for the entire family?

A1: Really? She is a doctor right? Does she get so much time?

A2: Yes. But that does not matter. After all what matters is whether she is able to make her husband happy and cook for the family. Studies and money are secondary for a woman and that is reality.

Well, that indeed is reality, isn’t it? We constantly talk about changing the mindset of people around us. We get into debates about how society needs to transform and educate the girl child. For what purpose? To make her an alluring option in the paper’s matrimony section? To present her as a tempting alternative in front of a pool of wealthy grooms? Or is it to make her independent and help her dream and achieve her goals?

This also starts a new thread of thoughts in my mind. Do my qualifications, my achievements, my dreams, my objectives in life really matter? Even though we say that we as a society are evolving, will I always be seen as a minion alive to make her husband and his family happy, producing offspring for their family line? Is that the only “primary” identity attached to a woman’s life?

I hear a lot of my male friends telling us that girls should not crib, life is easy for them. Even if they do not earn, nobody is going to blame them. All they need to do is look groomed and take care of the family. However, a man would always be criticized and accused if he is unable to provide for the family. Well this is true, isn’t it? But why? Why should it not be seen as the primary duty of both women and men to provide for the family? So much for gender equality, eh?

All of the above instances break my heart. We are in motion but where are we going to reach when this ends? Are we just moving around in a circle where we will end up right where we started? Will all the efforts of my warrior friends, fighting for gender equality, get tossed into one big pile of don’t cares?

Is our attitude really maturing or is it just adjusting in lieu of the current circumstances waiting to renege as soon as the fire collapses into plain meaningless smoke? Will there ever be gender equality in its true sense? Think about it!

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Rethinking life’s choices

Like any other teenager, I was not sure what I wanted to do with my life. I took my parent’s advice and  followed a popular career path of Engineering+MBA. However, now when I look back I wonder how my life would have carved out had I done things my way.

I wanted to be a designer. I religiously followed page 3, created my own designs and pictured myself on the runway, getting introduced by the show stopper. Could I have been the next Manish Malhotra? Would I have been happier had I chosen the path less traveled? Well it’s too late for that, right? Or is it?

Lost in the thought web, I drew a few sketches. Hope you like them!

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Please leave your feedback in the comment box 😀

 

 

Man maketh money? Money maketh man?

Paisa khuda na sahi par khuda ki kasam khuda se kam bhi nahi

(Translation: Money isn’t God but it isn’t less than God either)

These words from one of my professors are troubling me since morning.

I hail from a baniya family who are known for their money making mentality. But unlike my bloodline, I have grown to become a person (all credit goes to my parents) who would want to earn enough to enjoy life without worries. My childhood reinforced the fact that money can’t buy the most essential things in life. What money can buy is ephemeral. I know people who spent their lives making money for their future when there was no future. They were so deeply engrossed in the race to become a billionaire that they reached the finish line before they could enjoy the perks money could have bestowed upon them. So is life about making money? Or is it about making and improving yourself?

Now, some people say “society respects the rich“. I somewhat agree with this fact. I rarely see people talking about the not so rich personalities who live the pain with others, working each day to mitigate it, just to make this world a little bit more live-able. We sometimes call these souls the “Humans of Earth”. However, we not only remember but also preach the billionaires who show a few acts of kindness on camera for publicity. This publicity makes them more famous which in return brings more money to their coffers. These rich role models then go on to rule the world. So, does this mean that money maketh man? Well, maybe yes! It surely creates class divisions based on a person’s bank balance.

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Wait a second, let’s just look at some statistics to give some more weight to our argument that man maketh money. The Gallup World Pol reveals that people in seven developing Latin American nations are among the most likely to report being happy and feeling positive about life. Surprisingly, those who live in robust economies like wealthy, business-oriented Singapore are among the least happy people on Earth. This takes us to the conclusion that higher income is a result of higher life satisfaction and not the other way round. Correlation and causation should not be confused.

Money can buy you stuff, but can it buy you satisfaction and the feeling of being loved? Money cannot give you back the time you lost earning it, the time which you could have spent saving that delicate relationship, the time you could have utilized to learn that violin you always wanted to, the time you…

Neither money nor lack of it can save or bring back your loved ones? But the moments saved by not running after it can surely provide you with memories that you can cherish after they are gone, some peace of mind because you were there for them. I have my father with me today not because he had money which could save his life but because he had loved ones who were ready to give him theirs. He is happy today not because he could reach a high position in his professional career and make more money but because he could earn less and spend time with his family and watch them grow.

Individual thoughts may differ but the following remains true:

Time can buy money but money can’t buy time

Hence, man maketh money and money ain’t the end!

The curious case of GIFTS!

I have recently been contemplating the idea of GIFTS because everyone in my class had received a gift from their Secret Santa and I had not (FYI – I got it later, my Santa was just a little lazy! You have been a bad boy Santa 😛 ). Also because I have never received a birthday gift on my b’day (since the time I remember). It got me thinking about why do I even want a gift? How does it matter? Santa isn’t real. It certainly doesn’t describe whether I had been a good girl in 2016 or not. I have always received other gifts if not a b’day gift. Then why do I care about it so much?

Well frankly, I haven’t met a single soul on this earth who doesn’t love gifts. Be it an XBOX or a tiny card. It is that one thing which even the devil loves. However, some of us are fortunate enough to get them while others are not so fortunate. But why do I associate fortune with gifts? Why can’t a bad gift be unfortunate? The person obviously wasted his/her time and money to make you happy which you most certainly did not end up liking. Yet again too many questions and no respite. So I went back to my Mr. Purple in search of some concrete answers. (Don’t know who Mr. Purple is? Well read my blog, The Little Misfit, to find out. You got to follow my blog more frequently 😛 )

Mr. Purple says that gifts make you realize that you are loved. No matter if the present is good or bad. People put a huge amount of brain power in deciding what to gift their loved ones. Giving a gift is a humongous task (believe me I  have given many). Not just that, a thoughtful gift makes you feel that there are people out there who understand you. They know you in and out. It reinforces the fact that maybe you have not achieved milestones in your life but you surely made good friends (or maybe you have a loving family by your side). It is not just a materialistic thing which surprises you and flushes your body with adrenaline, it is a token of affection and emotions that people associate with you. The receiver feels gleeful for he/she has been lucky enough to become relevant in people’s lives. On the other hand, the giver is just excited to see you overjoyed.

But is that it? Are gifts just equivalent to happiness? What else can there be? Have you ever felt the bubble inside your stomach burst when you receive a beautifully wrapped present? Well that is the feeling you get which forces you to give something in return. Hence, comes the concept of return gift! A guilty need to reciprocate the delight that you experienced.

Thus, I believe the entire concept of exchanging gifts was started to create a chain of respect, zeal and care amongst fellow human beings. This idea was a master plan to maintain a figment of passion and a ray of hope in the human race. So even if a day comes where the night seems dark and the apocalypse strangles your throat, the sentiments wrapped up in that beautiful box can give you a reason to save the human race. It will give you a reason to live, to look forward to all those unopened presents that you could have opened had you stayed tuned. Feels a little far fetched? Well that is life. Deal with it!

So lets not break this chain and keep the spirit of giving alive. HAPPY GIFTING!

 

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One True Love

Up until now it was just love

The crazy, stupid teenager lust

My heart just knew the feeling of  your touch

The warmth and fervor of your hug

 

But now that we are oceans apart

Living our lives, poles apart

Our love still stands strong

Inside my  tender heart

 

This love has found its true worth

It is not just you whom I love

It is the idea of “Us” that I crave for

Your voice, your heart, your soul

That I live for

 

The distances that we have between us

Is just a mirage,

A hurdle posed by universe

 

“I miss you” would be an understatement

I would fall off the sky to be with you

Would be an infallible truth

 

The aura of our affection

Has touched the crest of our devotion

And now I discern the meaning of

our One True Love

 

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Diwali @ Home Part 2

May millions of lamps illuminate your life
with endless joy,prosperity,health & wealth forever
Wishing you and your family a very
“HAPPY DIWALI”

Here I am at IIM Lucknow away from home for the first time on the auspicious occasion of Diwali. It is tough for me but I am still with family part 2. It is tougher for my parents to celebrate Diwali away from both of their kids for the very first time.

However, like people say in this advanced tech world distances don’t matter. So my dad is making sure I don’t miss any part of the family fun. Constant photo updates and pooja on video chat is keeping me close to my home. All I miss now is the freshness of the pooja flowers, the sweet odor of home made sweets and the diyas and rangoli (which used to be my responsibility at home 😀 ).

There is a pooja organised in college in the evening. Looking forward to it.

Celebrating Diwali at home away from home.

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